I feel like a child, when I observe this world we live in...
Dramas.Suffering.Diseases.Fights.Competition.Lack of authenticity.Lack of purpose.Selling and trading- the ones who received the blessing, who found out that they transcend the system, trying to take more of it, pushing the ones "they want to help to" even deeper into it...Money, money, money... Lots of numbers, and putting a price on everything.
Existential fear. And then, a little bit more fear.
Ego...
Trying to find its way- wrestling, moving, running, building...
Rather surviving, in this dense dimension...
What did we do? Why did we do?
When did I signed up for all of this? Why did you suggest me to do so- when I could choose something at least a bit easier, more graceful? Can I go back? Can I go home?
Please, can I....
Disappointment in the heart. And a tear, in the eye of a child...
Once confused, it gets angry...
"Is there anything left sacred in our world?
Can purity be found anywhere in the civilisation "we have built"?
How could you take some much from one, and give so much to another?
Why, sometimes, the kind ones- the givers, suffer the most? How is that fair?!
And where are You, in all of this?"
The trees, the water, the sun... Arms of the Pure Mother, that provide the only consolation...
She gracefully receives my tears. She knows my pain. And, yet, She remains untouched...
There, in her arms, I hear You...
"There's no fair, or unfair. The Soul chooses, My Child", you say.
"One must find love for himself. One must find love for others. One must find love in all. I am in everything you see. Everything you see is in me. Each and every part of this game is beautiful. I created it, and you participated. It's the experience, and learning from it- that matters.
There is a reason behind it all. There is me, behind it all. If you cannot find me in it, don't worry, that just mean your sight is blurred. Go into meditation. Go into yourself. Leave the world behind, and be with me. It will strengthen your mind and help you to see (Me) more clearly. "
I do get angry at you. I get angry at myself. And sometimes I remain that way for a while - unable to do what you ask of me, unable to recognize the kindness, your kindness- in everyone, everywhere...
I wonder.. is it too much to ask?
Bless me with your knowledge.
Help me to see the world through your eyes.
Help me to find the strength, courage and compassion- to live in the world I find myself in...
Help me not to drown, trying to change what is here to remain...
Matthew:
"But seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." (6:33)
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. (7:7)
For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.… " (7:8)
I inhale.
I exhale.
I rest in the unknown.
Faith. Hope. Greatly challenged, but the only ones here to remain.
All of us- only children.
Some moved by the fear, some moved by Thy Grace...
Some times are hard. Some thoughts are heavy. But, isn't it all just a part of learning Oneness?
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